Quite sad tonight

My dad told me this evening that my grandfather is getting a lot worse.

I’ve mentioned before that he was getting ill, but he’s deteriorated very rapidly in the last few months.  My dad said that they’ve taken his car away from him now, and he’s now in a wheelchair permanently, and they’ve hired a nurse to help my grandmother look after him.

I feel so bad.  I keep saying that we have to go to Hermanus to visit them, but we never seem to get there.  It’s just such a schlepp with 2 small kids in that town – there’s nothing to do with kids so they’ll get very bored.  We were planning on going for a weekend soon, but now we’ve gone and booked a week at Shelley Beach in August.  I paid for it this morning.

We were actually talking about it this afternoon, and I said that we should go to Hermanus for a weekend later on in the year… but it had to be this year.

So anyhoo, I’ve decided that I need to… have to… see them now… before it’s too late.  My dad is planning a trip in the next few weeks.  He’ll fly there for the day.  I’ve decided to join him.  I have to.  If I don’t, I just know that I’m going to regret it for the rest of my life.

I’ll know in the next few days when I’m going.

Lance tried to tell me to take the boys, so that they can see them too. But I’m not sure I want Bradley to see them if my grandfather is so ill, and I can’t leave the one child at home, but I might just do that.  I might take Connor with me, because they’ve never seen him. Aaargh, I don’t know… we’ll have to see.

I don’t know what to do about it actually. I just think it’ll be too sad for Bradley… Connor is too young to understand so he’ll be ok.